MeskPro: Jaroslav Bednar (pronounced Bed-nash), Gene Rayburn, and Johnny Olson
Insomniac: Contestant
Wisey  : Contestant
SpartiChris: Carol Channing
P_Merton: Charles Nelson Reilly
ReneL  : Pepe LePew
spell  : Pedro Martinez
Steccie: Britney Spears
                Intros
<JohnnyOlson> Get Ready to match the Stars.... 
<JohnnyOlson> Los Angeles Kings Center Jaroslav Bednar 
<JohnnyOlson> Carol Channing 
<JohnnyOlson> Charles Nelson Reilly 
<JohnnyOlson> Cartoon Pepe LePew 
* Pepe_LePew blows kisses
<JohnnyOlson> Boston Red Sox Pitcher Pedro Martinez 
<JohnnyOlson> And "Singer" Britney Spears 
<JohnnyOlson> As we get ready to play the star studded Match Game, and here's your host, Gene Rayburn 
<GeneRayburn> Hello Stars, Hello Contestants, Let's get this started right away, Insomniac you start, A or B? 
            Round 1
<Insomniac> Oh, I'll pick A.
<GeneRayburn> Bugsy said... 
<GeneRayburn> My neighborhood was tough growing up... 
<Carol_Channing> How tough wash it?
<GeneRayburn> We didn't play kick the can, we played kick the _________. 
<GeneRayburn> Insomniac, your answer, please 
<Insomniac> I'm not feeling very witty today, so I'll say "kid". *shrug*
<GeneRayburn> A decent answer, let's see what the panel said, Jaroslav.. 
<JaroslavBednar> Sorry Insom, I said cop
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Ms. Channing 
* Carol_Channing shows her card
<Carol_Channing> I shaid the other gang'sh ashsh.  <sputters>  'Caushe, um...yeah.  <drinks some water hastily>
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Charles? 
* Charles_Nelson_Reilly laughs
<GeneRayburn> What did you say Charles? 
* BritneySpears flashes CNR in hopes that will wake him up
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> I said "severed head"
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Pepe? 
<Insomniac> All that waiting for "Severed head"?
<Pepe_LePew>  Aaah yes, I remember quite well, we played kiss ze..ohm silly moi misheard ze question.  Kick the tushie, I suppose will fit 'ere.
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Pedro? 
* Carol_Channing chuckles
<Pedro_Martinez> Yo fui por the rhyming phrase, so yo dije el hombre vieja. ... *sees blank faces* "The old man." Learn your Spanish, you dumb Americans.
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Britney? 
<Carol_Channing> Nice Shpanglish, dearie.
<BritneySpears> Well, first I just wanted to thank all my fans for...oh sorry, wrong show.  I said "smallest kid"
<GeneRayburn> A match, 1-0 Insom, Wisey here is your question 
<GeneRayburn> You know the Kevin Spacey movie, American Beauty? 
<GeneRayburn> It was remade, and now it is about ________. 
<GeneRayburn> Waiting for Britney and Pepe 
* Pepe_LePew finishes scribbling
<GeneRayburn> Your answer, Wisey 
<Wisey> Good grief . .
<Wisey> Erm .. erm .. Battlebots?!
<GeneRayburn> Let's see what the panel said, Jaroslav? 
<JaroslavBednar> I said the American Beauty I am sitting next to, ah I mean, that is sitting in the bottom tier on the far end, Britney Spears
<GeneRayburn> Not A match, Carol? 
* Carol_Channing shows her card
<Carol_Channing> I shaid shilicon, becaushe I shaw Mishsh Shpearsh in front of me, and...oh dear...<averts eyes> That'sh what American beauty ish all about theshe daysh...
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Chuck? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> I said, "American Booty"
* Charles_Nelson_Reilly hides his face in shame
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Pepe? 
<Pepe_LePew>  Ooooh!  I am currently working on being casted, eet eez about the beautiful American Women of ze fairer sex...hope zere ees a few Skunkettes, non?
<GeneRayburn> In english, please? 
<Pepe_LePew> babes, yes?
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Pedro? 
<Pedro_Martinez> Bueno, I've hit a few asses with various pitches, so I was thinking along those lines when I said "American Booty."
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Britney? 
* Pedro_Martinez glances upwards at CNR, then shakes his head.
<BritneySpears> I said "girls taking a road trip" in hopes that the remake will do better than my recent movie "Crossroads" which lasted...hmm what? Two weeks?  #$% you people!  Don't you know what good movies are?  *disgruntled sigh*
* Carol_Channing laughs...broken lisp, broken French, broken Spanish, all in a row. lol
            Round 2
<GeneRayburn> Wisey you are trailing 1-0, A or B? 
<Wisey> 'B' has a nice ring to it. Yes.
<GeneRayburn> Baby Gerald is the World 
<GeneRayburn> CUT! 
<GeneRayburn> Baby Gerald is the World's Richest Baby... 
* Charles_Nelson_Reilly laughs at that outtake
<GeneRayburn> How rich is he? 
<Carol_Channing> Um...how rich ish he?
<Pedro_Martinez> Cómo rico esta el?
* Carol_Channing laughs
*** Mystic_Ocelot is now known as Mystic_Away
<Pedro_Martinez> Oh wait, that translates to "How delicious is he?" ... :-)
<GeneRayburn> He has a ______ in his crib 
* Carol_Channing thinks of the various directions this could go
<GeneRayburn> Your answer, wisey? 
<Wisey> Well, as tempted as I am to say prostitute, I'm thinking champaigne bottle, maybe?
<GeneRayburn> A decent answer, let's see what the panel said, Jaroslav? 
* JaroslavBednar pulls out 5 cards
<JaroslavBednar> I said a swimming pool <flips card> complete with <flips card> many lovely ladies <flips card> and pool side <flips card> of milk
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Ms. Channing? 
<Carol_Channing> I shaid "female eshcort".  What a crazy kid.  He'sh shuch a cute widdle pimp, dearie.
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> LOL!
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Charles? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> I said, "A golden rattle"
<GeneRayburn> not a match, Pepe? 
<Pepe_LePew>  Ahhhhh, eef this was our friend Rene, eet would be a plush doll of Moi.  Mais, I'd have to say eet would be, um, an issue of the Wall Street Times
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Pedro? 
<Pedro_Martinez> Oh, sorry ... I said Lamborghini. Since I wanted one, but couldn't. Damn Dominican Republic.
<Pedro_Martinez> Oh well, I have 23 of them now.
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Britney? 
<BritneySpears> *shrugs and shows card* I said "bank"
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, you should of said, protistute...Insomniac here is your question 
* Wisey bangs his head on the desks repeatedly
<GeneRayburn> Jeff said.... 
<GeneRayburn> Up here we get so much snow 
<Carol_Channing> How much shnow do you get?
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> how much do you get?
<GeneRayburn> That it's even up to ___________'s head 
<GeneRayburn> Waiting for Britney 
<GeneRayburn> Your answer, Insom 
<Insomniac> Oh, I know what the whole audience is thinking (I hope...) so I'll say that wonderful Carol Channing impersonator, Ryan Stiles.
<GeneRayburn> A good answer, let's see what the panel said, Jaroslav? 
<JaroslavBednar> Sorry Insomniac, I said a fella who I see at the Staples Center, he plays basketball, his name is Shaquille O'Neal
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Carol? 
<Carol_Channing> I shaid ShpartiChrish.  I've heard sho much about him, that shweet dearie.  And he'sh taller than that bitsh, Ryan Shtilesh!  <gets angry look on face>
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Charles? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Well, believe it or not, I also said (laughing) SpartiChris
<GeneRayburn> It's amazing you two know who this guy is, Pepe what did you say? 
* Carol_Channing laughs
<Pepe_LePew> At first I thought zat zer is probably only one answer here.  Eet ees Ryan Stiles, but of course.
<GeneRayburn> A match, Pedro? 
<Pedro_Martinez> Bueno, comia en el restaurante Chico Grande de Roberto ... dije el Chico Grande.
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Britney? 
* BritneySpears chuckles
* Carol_Channing shakes her head
<BritneySpears> Well, I do watch a bit of baseball every now and then...and i saw this tall guy once...Randy Johnson i think was his name...creepy lookin fella
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Wisey you have a chance to win in the next round.... 
<Wisey> Yay.
                 Head to Head Match
<GeneRayburn> Wisey who do you want to play with? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Yes
<Wisey> Right . .
<Wisey> Charles.
<Wisey> Carol.
<Wisey> One more?
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> One, period
<Wisey> Britney.
<GeneRayburn> it's only one person, this isn't the audience match 
<Wisey> Oh. I knew that.
<Wisey> Charles.
<Wisey> Period.
<GeneRayburn> All right here we go... 
<Carol_Channing> Charlesh'sh period?  What?
<GeneRayburn> _____ trip 
<GeneRayburn> Road Trip? Acid Trip? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> road
<GeneRayburn> no match 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> GAH!
<GeneRayburn> Black ________
<GeneRayburn> Blacklist? Black and White? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> black and white
<GeneRayburn> match 
<GeneRayburn> ________ sky 
<GeneRayburn> Blue Sky? Vanilla Sky? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Blue sky
<GeneRayburn> match 
<GeneRayburn> _________ channel 
<GeneRayburn> Playboy Channel? The Downer Channel? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Playboy Channel
<GeneRayburn> match 
* Charles_Nelson_Reilly certainly hoped so
<GeneRayburn> Hey ________ 
<GeneRayburn> Hey Jude? Hey Jealousy? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Hey Jude
<GeneRayburn> match 
<GeneRayburn> _______ Dylan 
<GeneRayburn> Bob Dylan? Jakab Dylan? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Bob Dylan
<GeneRayburn> match 
<GeneRayburn> _________ Dancing 
<GeneRayburn> Break Dancing? Square Dancing? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Square Dancing?
<GeneRayburn> no match 
<GeneRayburn> Diet _______ 
<GeneRayburn> Diet Pepsi? Diet Coke? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Diet Pepsi!
<GeneRayburn> no match 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> GAH!
<GeneRayburn> _________ of corn 
<GeneRayburn> Ear of Corn? Can of Corn? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Ear of Corn
<GeneRayburn> match 
<GeneRayburn> Grape ________ 
<GeneRayburn> Grape Juice? Grape Nuts? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Grape Juice
<GeneRayburn> match 
<GeneRayburn> Wisey, you got 7, that means Insom needs 6 to win 
<Wisey> Phew!
<GeneRayburn> Insom who do you want to play with? 
<Insomniac> Oh, geez...
<Insomniac> Er, Pepe got Ryan Stiles, so why not?
* Pepe_LePew perks up
<Insomniac> I choose YOU, Pepe LePew!
<GeneRayburn> Ok here we go 
<GeneRayburn> ______ Jack 
<GeneRayburn> Car Jack? Cracker Jack? 
<Pepe_LePew> Cracker
<GeneRayburn> match 
<GeneRayburn> Blank __________ 
<GeneRayburn> Blank Check, Blank Page 
<Pepe_LePew> Page
<GeneRayburn> no match 
<Insomniac> Gah!
<GeneRayburn> _____ club 
<GeneRayburn> Night Club? Strip Club? 
<Pepe_LePew> Strip
<GeneRayburn> match 
<GeneRayburn> ________ Ward 
<GeneRayburn> Maternity Ward? Cancer Ward? 
<Pepe_LePew> Maternity
<GeneRayburn> match 
<GeneRayburn> Speed _______ 
<GeneRayburn> Speed Limit? Speed Bump? 
<Pepe_LePew> Limit
<GeneRayburn> Match 
<GeneRayburn> ______ tale 
<GeneRayburn> Fairy Tale? Tall Tale? 
<Pepe_LePew> Tall
<GeneRayburn> no match 
<Insomniac> Aww.
<GeneRayburn> ______ trick 
<GeneRayburn> Magic Trick? Hat Trick? 
<Pepe_LePew> Hat
<GeneRayburn> no match 
<GeneRayburn> ______ sauce 
<GeneRayburn> Spaghetti Sauce? Tartar Sauce? 
<Pepe_LePew> Spaghetti
<GeneRayburn> match 
<GeneRayburn> Blast ______ 
<GeneRayburn> Blast off? Blast from the past? 
<Pepe_LePew> from the past
<GeneRayburn> no match 
<GeneRayburn> _______ machine 
<Insomniac> Gah!  Tough one...
<GeneRayburn> Vending Machine? Pinball Machine? 
<Pepe_LePew> Vending
<GeneRayburn> match..Insom wins 
<Insomniac> Woohoo!
* Pepe_LePew claps
* Insomniac high-fives Pepe
* Charles_Nelson_Reilly applauds
* Pepe_LePew 5's back
<Carol_Channing> The interesting part is that the first two rounds almost don't matter. lol
<Insomniac> lol
<P_Merton> Like the points
* Carol_Channing getsh back into character
               Super Matches
<GeneRayburn> Here's how the bonus round works, I give a statement like that, the most popular answer is worth 500, then 250, than 100, that is multiplied by 10, and that is what you play for, call on 3 celebs to help you with this.... 
<GeneRayburn> _________ Alone 
<Insomniac> Oh... hmm... Carol, Pepe (nice Vending there), and Jaroslav.
<GeneRayburn> Carol? 
<Carol_Channing> Home
<GeneRayburn> Pepe? 
<Pepe_LePew> All
<GeneRayburn> Jaroslav? 
<JaroslavBednar> I
<GeneRayburn> Home, All, I, or you can choose your own 
<Insomniac> I'll take my first guess, Home.
<GeneRayburn> 100: I'm 
<GeneRayburn> 250: I 
<GeneRayburn> This looks good for you, slide it, Earl 
<GeneRayburn> 500: Home 
<Insomniac> Yay!
* Carol_Channing winks
<GeneRayburn> Here's your second audience match... 
* Charles_Nelson_Reilly applauds
<GeneRayburn> Green _________ 
<GeneRayburn> Call on three again 
<Insomniac> Well, I like Carol... and Charles... and oh, hey, I'll pick Pepe again.
<GeneRayburn> Carol? 
<Carol_Channing> Ah.  Umm...thumb.
<GeneRayburn> Pepe? 
<Pepe_LePew> Light
<GeneRayburn> Charles? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Screen
<Insomniac> Well, I like Whose Line (well, OBVIOUSLY) so I'll pick Screen.
<GeneRayburn> thumb, light, screen, or you know you can choose your own if you disagree with the dingbats 
* Charles_Nelson_Reilly sticks his tongue out at Gene
<GeneRayburn> all right, Screen, let's reveal them 
<GeneRayburn> 100: Grass 
<GeneRayburn> 250: Giant 
<GeneRayburn> What do you all think is at the top? 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Screen
<Pepe_LePew> Light!
<Insomniac> Day! ...
<Carol_Channing> Thumb!
* Carol_Channing laughs
<JaroslavBednar> Beans
<Carol_Channing> Bikini!
<Insomniac> Sleeves!
<Pepe_LePew> peas
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> House
<GeneRayburn> 500: Beans 
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Aw, fart
<Insomniac> Grass, giant, and beans?  Who did you survey? lol
<GeneRayburn> Sorry, that statement translated to, pick something else none of them are up there, but anyway you can turn the 5000 into 10000 with a lucky spin of the star wheel...give me a number 
<Pepe_LePew> Hmmm, eet would appear that whomever made that survey nighter drove nor played childhood games
<GeneRayburn> You are playing with Pepe for 5000, pepe write down your response to this... 
<GeneRayburn> _________ mile 
<GeneRayburn> Your response Insom? 
<Insomniac> Oh, hell, there's another "Green" thing again!
<GeneRayburn> Your response, pepe 
* Pepe_LePew hides his face
<Pepe_LePew> I said long, after dismissing "green:
<Insomniac> I don't want to know...
<GeneRayburn> Sorry, you still leave here with 600 
<JohnnyOlson> This is Johnny Olson for Match Game, A Mesk Pro Smith Moleman Production.  This program has been SEVERLY EDITED for broadcast.