MeskPro: Tim Spooneybarger, Gene Rayburn, and Johnny Olson Sumgi : Contestant Wisey : Contestant karen : Brett Sommers P_Merton: Charles Nelson Reilly SpartiChris: Carol Channing Intros Get Ready to match the stars.... Brett Somers Charles Nelson Reilly From the Atlanta Braves, Pitcher Tim Spooneybarger and Carol Channing. As we get ready to play the star studded, Match Game, and here's your host, Gene Rayburn Thank you Johnny, hello stars, hello contestants, let's meet them, Sumgi tells about yourself Well, I'm an on-call taxedermist, and my hobbies include strangling animals, gold, and . That's nice, Wisey? I'm Wisey. I have a cheese fetish. And the doctors say I'm not allowed out of Manchester. Round 1 Wisey, we'll start with you, A or B? ... A. *** Signoff: Will_Team_Ragnarok (QUIT: ) Unfunny Earl is so unfunny... Audience: How unfunny is he? That even _________ is funny than him * Carol_Channing thinks Wisey, your response I'd opt for cheese, but actually I find cheese to be intellectually rather stimulating. So I'll just say Archie Hahn. A good answer, Brett what did you say? I'm sorry... but as a Democrat... I said Richard Nixon Not a match, Charles? I said "P_Merton" Funny you know who P_Merton is, Tim? * Brett_Somers play-slaps Chuckles Ah. My third choice. Yes *holds up card with Archie Hahn written on it* I threw this out, sorry, I said a broad who gets me through road trips, if you get what I'm saying, but isn't too funny, Kathy Greenwood. Not a match, Carol? * Carol_Channing shows her card I shaid Ben Shtein. Hish voice ish more annoying then mine ish. No score, here is your question, Sumgi George is the World's Greatest Salesman... Audience: How great is he? He sold _________ to Bill Clinton This is a hard question It is... * Carol_Channing thinks Your response, Sumgi? Well, I could put many things there, but I'm gonna say "The Playboy Mansion". I think you misinterpreted the question, if he was great, he would have to sell something, Clinton wouldn't want, Bret what did you say? I happen to know that Bill is a non smoker... I said 'cigars' Not a match, Chuck? * Sumgi-contestant passes out. I said "explosive cigars." Cause I couldn't think of anything else get that poor child an inhaler! * Brett_Somers goes to Sumgi's side A better answer, Tim? If Johnny didn't say who I was, would anyone know who I am, I said Ken Starr Not a match, Carol? * Carol_Channing shows her card I shaid Chastity. Not to be confushed with Brandy Chashtain. Shlick Willy not shleeping with anyone doeshn't make shenshe. * Brett_Somers goes back to her seat Rpund 2 That's a good answer, but it's kind of hard to sell Chastity, Sumgi you are up again, A or B? B, please. * GeneRayburn warns that this is a long question Jack said... And this time I'll understand the question... I saw something weird on TV today. Apparently, I was getting two shows at the same time, Whose Line Is it Anyway? and Friends...and __________ was on Friends. Oh... I hope I understood this one correctly... I must be thinking more about ... * Carol_Channing thinks some more Your answer, Sumgi Another hard one... Hmm... "Dan Patterson"? * Brett_Somers sighs That'd be weird, but I think one answer really sticks out, Brett? I can't help it if I get the hard ones. I went for someone who would be so wicked that even Friends would have a hard time... I said Tony Slattery Not a match, Chuck? * Brett_Somers puts her hand over the mic and says 'sorry, hon... I seem to be off today' * Charles_Nelson_Reilly holds up a card that reads "Drew Carey." Not a match, Mr. Spooneybarger Those would be weird, but I have the definitive answer, see with it being Friends, it would be REALLY weird to see.... * TimSpooneybarger shows answer Wayne Brady ooooh! What did you say, Carol? * Carol_Channing shows her card I shaid Ryan Shtiles, becaushe he'sh sho gorshe-- um... gorshoushsh...pretty. * Charles_Nelson_Reilly laughs at the bit of Dubya thrown in there At least they were unique answers... Wisey, you are in a good position, you can take the lead going in to the Head-to-Head Match Round High scoring game today, Gene. Dumb Dora, said... How dumb ish--oh. CUT! Dumb Dora is so dumb.... How dumb ish she? ..she said the question wrong? That at her job as a switch board operator, when she heard it was flooded, she went out and bought a _____________. Waiting for Charles Your answer, Wisey Ch- er, a bucket. A good answer, because people use that to get water out, Brett what did you say? a mop Another good answer, Charles? * Charles_Nelson_Reilly holds up a card that says, "A pair of boots." Another good answer, Tim? Sorry, Wisey, I said, a sponge Not a match, Carol? I shaid a raft. She can shail away! Hee hee hee. * Sumgi-contestant wipes his brow. These loonies aren't helping you, let's go to the next round. the round of head-to-head matching, everyone know how this works? We'll start with Wisey, choose one of the dingbats Eenie minie meenie mo ... Tim. Let's begin Heart ________ Heart Attack match Tunnel ________ Tunnel of Love match Mountain __________ Mountain Range Match Mel _________ Mel Gibson match ________ cut Short Cut no match Jack _________ Jack Spratt No Match You got 5, Sumgi you have to get 6 to win, Do you still want to play with Carol? Yep. Let'sh go, dearie. And I'll do it right this time... Let's begin _______ rod CUT! Wisey still gets one more * Charles_Nelson_Reilly sighs I was wondering about that... ______ trap parent? mouse? Mouse Trap match Well what I said still is true, you need 6 to win, sumgi, now let's begin __________ rod Hot Rod? Pretzel Rod? Hot match CD _________ CD Player? CD Burner? Player match Trial _______ Trial Lawyer? Trial and error? and Error Match X - ___________ X-Box? X-Ray? ... Box no match ______ teller Bank Teller? Penn and Teller? Bank match Sugar _______ Sugar High? Sugar and Spice? and Spice match * Carol_Channing winks at Sumgi ________ Harding Warren Harding? Tonya Harding? Tonya Match, Sumgi wins * Charles_Nelson_Reilly applauds Sumgi * Carol_Channing claps nicely * Brett_Somers applauds too * Charles_Nelson_Reilly , in other words, applauds some guy * Sumgi-contestant jumps and does a nauseating victory dance. Super Matches Sumgi you advance to the bonus round...you know how it works, call on three celebs to help you with this..... * Brett_Somers play thwaps Chuckles 3 ____________ Lucky Carol Shtoogesh After what Brett jusht did, of courshe. Brett There's one answer Little Pigs Another one Charles blind mice 3 Stooges, 3 Little Pigs, 3 blind mice, or you can choose your own Well, Carol was lucky for me, and I like the 3 stooges, so I'm going with stooges. let's see 100: Little Pigs 250: Stooges What do you all think is on top? 3 of a Kind! 3 blind mice, probably little words 500: Blind Mice That means you'll be playing for a minimum of 2500, here's your second audience match... Chuckles, stop that! Here, have another beautiful martini Why, thank you * Carol_Channing laughs * Charles_Nelson_Reilly sips on his beautiful martini Hey, you two cut it out over there, shweetiesh. _________ Chicken Call on 3 again Brett Neon Love Chicken Oh, come on now, Carol...I was on the Drew Carey show! And you weren't unless you count Ryan Stiles! Tim * Brett_Somers nudges Charles "drink up, you're still sober" Rotisserie Carol * Charles_Nelson_Reilly continues drinking Fried, dearie. Fried, Rotisserie, or Neon Love Chicken, or you can choose your own Fried, Gene. Let's see what you get 100: Boneless * Charles_Nelson_Reilly laughs * Charles_Nelson_Reilly realizes he's drunk 250: Rotisserie That was Tim's answer, this looks good, slide it 500: Fried Thish had better be fried... * Brett_Somers pats Charles on the arm and takes the remains of the teeny martooni Yay! * Carol_Channing winks at Sumgi again * Brett_Somers applauds * Charles_Nelson_Reilly appalsuss * Charles_Nelson_Reilly applesauce * Charles_Nelson_Reilly is drunk You get to play for 7500 and can turn that into 15000 with a lucky spin of the star wheel. That'sh nothing new, dearie. I've seen you drunk, Carol * Brett_Somers floats a paper airplane toward Gene You get to play with Tim for 7500 * Charles_Nelson_Reilly realizes it's Brett who's drunk and says, "Wow, that stuff carries." ;) Here it is, you have to match him.... Seattle ____________ * TimSpooneybarger shows his answer to Carol to prove he is not cheating Your answer, Sumgi * Carol_Channing nods Well, I'm gonna say, off my head, Seattle Mariners. That's a good answer what are some others? Washington is wet seahawks I thought of Seattle Slew Supersonics What did you say, Tim? What else am I going to say, I'm a freakin' major leaguer... Mariners * Sumgi-contestant jumps and celebrates like a madman. Congrats Sumgi, you win 8250 This is JohnnyOlson for Match Game, A Mesk Pro Smith Moleman Production This program has been HEAVILY edited for broadcast