Match Game

Introduction

<JohnnyOlson> Get ready to match the stars...
<JohnnyOlson> Brett Summers
<JohnnyOlson> Charles Nelson Riley
<JohnnyOlson> Garfield the Cat
<JohnnyOlson> from Adam-12, Gary Crosby
<JohnnyOlson> Monty Python Star, John Clesse
<JohnnyOlson> From Family Feud, Louie Anderson
<JohnnyOlson> Voice over specialist, Mel Blanc
<JohnnyOlson> From The Norm Show, Norm MacDonald
<JohnnyOlson> From Regis and Kelly, Regis Philbin
<JohnnyOlson> and Super Civilian Man
<JohnnyOlson> as we get ready to play the star studded Match Game, And here's your host Gene Rayburn

<GeneRayburn> Thank you Johnny. Hello Stars. Hello Contestants, We know that tle is a proud Texan a WLF is a student teacher so let's begin Tle we will start with you A or B?

Round 1

<tle1792553> B Please
<GeneRayburn> Billy the actor said....
<Regis_Philbin> What did he say?
<GeneRayburn> "I just got my first major role.  The pay is great, unfortunately, my co-star is ______________"
<GeneRayburn> Tle, your response
<tle1792553> Hmm, well there are many possible answers to this. So I will have to choose...My co-star is Carol Channing. *shrugs*
<GeneRayburn> Panel display your responses
<John_Cleese> Norm MacDonald
<GaryCrosby> Steven Segal
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Keanu Reeves
<Brett_Summers> a large robot  (danger Will Robinson)
<Norm_MacDonald> Ahh, i said  That fat, bespeceled man that guest starred on my show, Drew Carey
<SUPER_CIVILIAN_MAN> Regis Philbin *frowns*
<Louie_Anderson> Well..I went with the scene stealer seated next to me...John Cleese
<Mel_Blanc> <as Barney Rubble> Gee, Fred, I didn't know what to say ... so I said Norm Macdonald.
<Garfield_The_Cat> Kathy Lee
<Regis_Philbin> A ... megalomaniac ... <looks around> WHAT?!
* tle1792553 laughs....but doesnt see a match. *g*

<GeneRayburn> Sorry no matches, WLF here is your question
<GeneRayburn> Tommy the 13 year old said...
<GeneRayburn> My school is so cheap....
Audience: How cheap is he?
<GeneRayburn> That it costs a buck to get _______________
<GeneRayburn> Your response WLF
<WLFanatic626> My school is so cheap that it costs a buck to "get your locker open"
<GeneRayburn> Panel display your responses
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> in the school
<Regis_Philbin> <through a bite of sandwich> Paddled ... <looks around> Okay, who cares? It was around when *I* was growing up ... in the Triassic period.
<GaryCrosby> A french fry
<SUPER_CIVILIAN_MAN> pencil lead *shrugs*
<Louie_Anderson> Well....I said to get into the bathroom......ummmm...excuse me
<Garfield_The_Cat> A hooker... I feel so ashamed
<Brett_Summers> into the bathrooms
<Norm_MacDonald> Well, i said, ah,  It costs a buck to get your report card...but that's not funny, so whatever
<John_Cleese> Well, either a cup of tea, or Conquistador Coffee.
<Mel_Blanc> I said an A.
<GeneRayburn> No matches, We have a pitcher's duel going into Round 2, WLF you are up again A or B?

Round 2

<GeneRayburn> No matches, We have a pitcher's duel going into round 2, WLF you are up again A or B?
<WLFanatic626> A please
<GeneRayburn> The presidental candidate said....
<GeneRayburn> "I think I'm going about this candidacy wrong.  I've been focusing my campaign on __________"
<GeneRayburn> Your Response WLF
<WLFanatic626> I've been focusing my campaign on "possible interns"
<SUPER_CIVILIAN_MAN> Video Games
<Mel_Blanc> Well, since the candidates just care about their interns, and I wanted to go for the irony, I said "the issues."
<Norm_MacDonald> The Clinton era is over, and that means that it's no longer smart to base your campain on...Seducing ugly women
<Brett_Summers> re-election
<Garfield_The_Cat> Making Michael Jackson black again
<GaryCrosby> New Hampshire
<Regis_Philbin> I said Texas ... rather ... than ... taxes? <desperate look>
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> being lazy
<John_Cleese> What every bleedin' greedy, heartless, cunning, and evil politician swine wants, [Money.] 
<Louie_Anderson> Well...I was thinking like Mel this time..(scary)...I said the issues
<Regis_Philbin> John, bug off. I think your parrot is dead.

<GeneRayburn> You scored 1, we are considering Norm's answer a match, tle here is your question
<GeneRayburn> Selma said...
<GeneRayburn> "It's tough being married to a shooting instructor.  On our honeymoon he kept _______ing"
<GeneRayburn> Your answer tle
<tle1792553> Umm....<blank stare> ... On our honeymoon he kept yelling.
<GeneRayburn> Panel display your answers
<GaryCrosby> Cocking his gun
<Brett_Summers> misfiring
<SUPER_CIVILIAN_MAN> reloading *punches Louie*
<Norm_MacDonald> Now don't look too deeply into this...I said "reloading"
<Mel_Blanc> I went for the rather obvious one ... he didn't happen to load his rifle, so he was blanking.
<John_Cleese> Well I was so stuck on thinking of an and my mind went blank, so i said [missing].
<Louie_Anderson> Well...umm..I said shooting...take that for what it's worth
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Cocking his gun
<Garfield_The_Cat> Blanking... blanks in a gun, you sickos!
* tle1792553 almost said cocking! *mumble* :)
<Regis_Philbin> I said re-loading, because that's all you do on a honeymoon, isn't it?
<Regis_Philbin> <awkward silence> Well, isn't it?
<GeneRayburn> Sorry no matches, tle, you have to match at least one to stay in the game, A or B

Round 3

<tle1792553> A
<GeneRayburn> Ugly Edna is so Ugly....
<Mel_Blanc> HOW UGLY IS SHE?!
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> How ugly is she?
<GeneRayburn> That at the rodeo she gets confused for _________
<GeneRayburn> There are two good answers for this is my mind
<GeneRayburn> Your answer tle
<tle1792553> She gets confused for ... a clown?
<GeneRayburn> Panel display your respones
<SUPER_CIVILIAN_MAN> the bronco
<Garfield_The_Cat> the bull
<Garfield_The_Cat> the bull
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> the bull
<GaryCrosby> Rodeo Clown
<Brett_Summers> a steer
<Louie_Anderson> Well....I went with something a little fatter..like me...I said the barrel
<Mel_Blanc> I said the rodeo clown.
<Regis_Philbin> I said "a bucker" ... HEY!
<John_Cleese> [A bail of hay], anything that ugly doesn't even look good under face paint...
<Norm_MacDonald> Normally I'd say ugly people fit right in at a rodeo...but if she's REALLY ugly, then maybe she'll be mistaken for the Bulls..although, that'd take some extra appendages...
<Norm_MacDonald> but yeah, a bull

<GeneRayburn> The score is 2-1.  You are in the catbird's seat WLF one to tie, two to win, here is your question 
<GeneRayburn> Saul the Stealer said....
<GeneRayburn> I stole something today, and I was not charged because I stole __________
<GeneRayburn> Your answer, WLF
<WLFanatic626> I was not charged because I stole "the family car"
<GeneRayburn> Panel display your responses
<Regis_Philbin> I said "a battery" ... you weren't CHARGED, right? Well, the battery was charged already, so ... <silence again> Oh, forget this.
<Louie_Anderson> well....I was thinking about how much money I was making and didn't pay any attention to the question...I said the cash register
<Brett_Summers> the scene (like Charles)
<Mel_Blanc> I said second base.
<GaryCrosby> Britney Spears' Clothes
<Norm_MacDonald>  Louie Anderson's personality...take that wide load.
<Garfield_The_Cat> Someone's heart... aww, how so totally mushy... *barf*
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> a young woman's heart
<SUPER_CIVILIAN_MAN> white stuff ( It's all "right" because they're all "white")
<John_Cleese> Because of his abilities and my personal reservations, [Dan Rather}.

<GeneRayburn> Sorry that means Tle wins this pitches duel
<GeneRayburn> You are going to play audience match, you know the routine, call on three celebs to fill in the blank celebs respond out loud and the you give what you think is the top answer here is your first one

Audience Matches

<GeneRayburn> Buffalo ____________

<GeneRayburn> call on 3
<tle1792553> Mel
<Mel_Blanc> L-l-le-l-l-le-le-l .. wings.
<tle1792553> Brett
<Brett_Summers> Gals
<tle1792553> And....Norm.
<Norm_MacDonald> Wings has been said, so Sabres
<GeneRayburn> Wings, Gals, or Sabres, or you can pick your own
<tle1792553> Wings.

<GeneRayburn> 100: Sabres
<GeneRayburn> 250: New York
<GeneRayburn> 500: Wings

<GeneRayburn> Here is your second audience match

<GeneRayburn> Let's Make _____________

<GeneRayburn> call on 3 again
<tle1792553> THE CAT! ...Garfield that is.
<Garfield_The_Cat> A Date
<tle1792553> Mel
<Mel_Blanc> Love
<tle1792553> Later dear. *g*....Um....Regis
<Regis_Philbin> dinner
<GeneRayburn> A date, Love, dinner, or you can choose your own
<tle1792553> I will have to say...A Date.

<GeneRayburn> 100: Love
<GeneRayburn> 250: A date
<GeneRayburn> What do you all think the top one is?
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> A Deal!
<Louie_Anderson> Let's make a deal?
<GeneRayburn> 500: A Deal
 
<GeneRayburn> All right you will play for 7500 and you have a chance to make that into 15000 by a spin of the star wheel

Head to Head Match

<GeneRayburn> You get to play with John for 15000, John write do your response to this:
<GeneRayburn> Jennifer ___________
<GeneRayburn> Your response, Tle
<tle1792553> Lopez?
 <GeneRayburn> What are some other answers, everyone?
<Louie_Anderson> Jennifer convertible
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Jennifer Aniston
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Jason Leigh
<Regis_Philbin> Lost the War?
<improv_god201> Aniston!
<SUPER_CIVILIAN_MAN> all I can think of is Lopez...
<GaryCrosby> Love Hewitt
<Mel_Blanc> Coat ... get it? Jenna's Fur Coat? ... Never mind.
<GeneRayburn> John, your response
* John_Cleese turns around with "Lopez" written on his forehead in Magic Marker ink.

<JohnnyOlson> This is Johnny Olson for Match Game, A Mesk Pro Smith Moleman Production. This program has been edited for broadcast.

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