MeskPro: Charles Nelson Reilly, Gene Rayburn, and Johnny Olson
Branden: Contestant
tle    : Contestant
karen  : Brett Somers
Wisey  : Anne Robinson
whoser : Richard Simmons
Alman  : Super Civilian Man
           Intros
<JohnnyOlson> Get ready to match the stars...
<JohnnyOlson> Charles Nelson Reilly
<JohnnyOlson> Brett Somers
<JohnnyOlson> From the Weakest Link, Anne Robinson
<JohnnyOlson> Fitness Expert, Richard Simmons
<JohnnyOlson> and Super Civilian Man. As we get ready to play the star studded Match Game, and here's your host, Gene Rayburn.
<GeneRayburn> Thanks Johnny, Hello Stars, Hello contestants, Let's begin, Branden A or B
          Round 1      
<Branden> A please
<GeneRayburn> You selected A, here it is...
<GeneRayburn>  102 Year Old Mr. Periwinkle said......
<GeneRayburn> "At the home we just had a wedding.  I was the best man because I am the only one that could still __________________."
* Brett_Somers scribbles something... sticks the paper in the slot
* Richard_Simmons scribbles
* Richard_Simmons puts paper in slot
* AnneRobinson peers down her glasses
* Super_Civilian_Man scibbles
* Brett_Somers prods Charles - you awake?
<GeneRayburn> Your answer Branden?
<Branden> i'm thinking....uhhhh
<Branden> Stand *shrug*
<GeneRayburn> A good answer, Chuck, what did you say?
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Yo, Gene, Chuck said make whoopee 
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Brett?
<Brett_Somers> everyone knows that the best man STANDS up for the groom!
* Brett_Somers thwaps chuckles for being a blonde
<GeneRayburn> That's a match, Ms. Robinson?
<AnneRobinson> <shows card> Well naturally, 'bear the weight of the ring'. Unfortunately, I cannot bear the weight of your stupidness, Branden. Goodbye!
* Super_Civilian_Man snickers
<Brett_Somers> oh, lighten up, sister!
<GeneRayburn> Ira, Should we give him a half point for that?
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
<GeneRayburn> Ira says no, of course, Richard?
<Richard_Simmons> I said breathe without an oxygen tank...sorry honey buns!
<GeneRayburn> A decent response, Mr. Man?
<Super_Civilian_Man> scary... I think like Richard Simmons... I said breathe with no tank also
<Branden> I'll let that one slide, dear *blows a kiss to Richard simmons*
* Richard_Simmons catches the kiss and puts it on his cheek
* Brett_Somers gags on her martini
<GeneRayburn> You scored 1, tle here's your question
<GeneRayburn> Gene Rayburn said....
<GeneRayburn> Wait, what the hell did I say?
<Richard_Simmons> Oh, Gene, you!
<tle1792553> Get on with it, Gene! 
<GeneRayburn> "I wish we had _________ on here more because she really rouses my libido."
<tle1792553> Oh dear.
* tle1792553 shakes her head
* Richard_Simmons is already done scribbling and sticks the paper in the slot
* Super_Civilian_Man writes his response
<GeneRayburn> Tle, your response
<tle1792553> Umm....
<tle1792553> I will have to say, Betty White
<GeneRayburn> Let's see what the dingbats, said, Charles?
* Branden laughs at Gene's rudeness
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Being the hip man I am, I said Shannon Elizabeth 
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Brett?
<Brett_Somers> Well... I almost went with Phyllis Diller... but that was too kinky even for you Gene... I said the coochy-coochy girl herself - Charo
<GeneRayburn> Oh yes that broad with the...never mind...Anne?
<AnneRobinson> Well, well, well! Whose mental train of thought has just had all its staff go on strike? Who is showing less signs of intelligence than a house brick? The answer is 'Anne Robinson' of course!
* Branden laughs
* Brett_Somers grabs Anne's glass and sniffs it
<Brett_Somers> HA!
<GeneRayburn> I won't comment on that...Richard?
<Brett_Somers> pure gin!
<Richard_Simmons> Hun, if I wasn't the way I was *winks at Branden* I'd have to go with Pamela Anderson.
* Branden looks shocked at Richard, and looks at tle "I swear...he means nothing!"
* Richard_Simmons makes a kissy face and Branden and snarls at tle
<GeneRayburn> There's a good answer...Anne Robinson....I better not see that again...Super?
<Super_Civilian_Man> Anne Robinson
* Branden chuckles
* GeneRayburn faints
* GeneRayburn gets back up
<GeneRayburn> At the risk of offending you Anne, you really don't rouse my libido
* Branden chuckles at Gene
* Richard_Simmons giggles
* tle1792553 notices she has competition
* AnneRobinson glares intensely
                     Round 2
<GeneRayburn> Tle, you are up first, this round trailing 1-0, A or B
* Richard_Simmons stares daggers at tle
<tle1792553> B
<GeneRayburn> Lazy Larry is so lazy.....
<Branden> HOW LAZY IS HE?!
<Richard_Simmons> How lazy is he?
<GeneRayburn> That he has someone ______________ for him
* tle1792553 can think of so many possibilities
* Richard_Simmons writes and then sticks the card in
* Super_Civilian_Man has already written his answer
* Branden would write an answer...but he's a contestant
<GeneRayburn> Waiting for Anne
* Richard_Simmons giggles at branden
<GeneRayburn> Your answer, tle?
<tle1792553> Umm... I will go with what came to mind first... That he has someone eat for him. *sigh*
<GeneRayburn> That's a good answer, Charles?
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> I think this is a match...Chew his food 
<GeneRayburn> *looks over at Ira* We can take that, Brett?
<Brett_Somers> sorry honey, I thought of eat... but then I went with 'work'
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Anne?
<AnneRobinson> Just two of you left. Tle, obssessed with Betty White, and Branden who enjoys sniffing gin. Goodness knows how you've lasted this long without men in white coats coming to drag you both off. The correct answer was 'think', but in your case I think we'll just take things one step at a time.
* Branden laughs at anne
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Richard?
<Brett_Somers> do you ever come up for air?
<Richard_Simmons> You know, tle that was my first choice but then I decided to go with "put on his clothes"*coughyoubiglosercough*
<Super_Civilian_Man> It is clear that someone has forgotten they are not the host, much less on their own show
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Mr. Civilian Man?
<Super_Civilian_Man> I went deeper than "eat" I said breathe
<Richard_Simmons> Let the boy speak if he wants to! Geez, you people! I swear...
<Richard_Simmons> That was an excellent answer
<GeneRayburn> Tie Score, here is you question Branden
<Brett_Somers> oh, go back to General Hospital, you hack!
<GeneRayburn> The club owner said to Chris Rock....
<GeneRayburn> "I think it's going to be a tough crowd tonight because they are all wearing ________s.
* Super_Civilian_Man writes his answer, feeling uncertain
* Richard_Simmons writes his answer joyfully
* Branden doesn't know how to take this question...and thinks harder
* Richard_Simmons sticks it in the slot
<Richard_Simmons> ( lol )
<GeneRayburn> Your answer, Branden?
<Branden> Well...i'm...sheets?
<GeneRayburn> A good answer, Charles
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> In honor of the lady next  to me I said...Clean..white <flips card> linen sheets <flips card> on their <flips card> body 
<GeneRayburn> That's a match, Brett
<Brett_Somers> Well, the club was in the South, you know... I said 'sheets'
<GeneRayburn> Another Match, what did yoy say Anne?
<AnneRobinson> The correct answer, Branden, was 'headphones', and after that excruciating display of so-called knowledge, I wish I'd have thought of taking up the idea earlier. Although I think the thought of you wearing a sheet over your person would be a good one, Branden.
<Branden> If it was a wrong answer..then how come I have two matches so far, anne?
<Branden> You're the wrong one...you and your unique wrong-ness
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, Richard?
<Richard_Simmons> I said "Whose Line Is It Anyway? T-Shirts"...so so so sorry hun. *whispers* I love you.
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, SCM?
<Super_Civilian_Man> I said thongs
<GeneRayburn> Not a match, 3-1 Branden
              
              Head to Head Matches
<GeneRayburn> Let's procede to the Head to Head Match...tle you start, who do you want to play with?
* Branden raises his hand
<tle1792553> Umm.. Anne
<GeneRayburn> Let's begin, you will get 10 of these
<Brett_Somers> oooh, kinky!
<GeneRayburn> Seattle ________
<GeneRayburn> Seattle Washington? Seattle Mariners?
<AnneRobinson> Seattle Mariners.
<GeneRayburn> No Match
<GeneRayburn> ___________ Date
<GeneRayburn> Blind Date? Hot Date?
<AnneRobinson> Blind Date
<GeneRayburn> Match
<GeneRayburn> Mouse ________
<GeneRayburn> Mouse Trap? Mouse Pad?
<AnneRobinson> Mouse pad
<GeneRayburn> No Match
<GeneRayburn> Hold Your __________
* tle1792553 thinks she should have picked someone who thinks like her. *g*
<GeneRayburn> Hold Your Breath? Hold Your Horses?
<AnneRobinson> Hold your breath
* tle1792553 laughs
* Richard_Simmons silently laughs at tle
<GeneRayburn> No Match
<GeneRayburn> Mickey ___________
<GeneRayburn> Mickey Mouse? Mickey Mantle?
<AnneRobinson> Mickey mouse
<GeneRayburn> Match
<GeneRayburn> ________ Bag
<GeneRayburn> Paper Bag? Plastic Bag?
<AnneRobinson> paper bag
<GeneRayburn> Match
* tle1792553 is reminded of the supermarket
<GeneRayburn> ____________ade
<GeneRayburn> Powerade? Gatorade?
<Branden> (take my wife...please!  the old bag)
<AnneRobinson> powerade ... haven't heard of either of them ;p
<GeneRayburn> No Match
* Branden chuckles
<tle1792553> Yeesh. :P
<GeneRayburn> _____________ Bowl
<GeneRayburn> Super Bowl? Cereal Bowl?
<AnneRobinson> cereal bowl
<GeneRayburn> No Match
<GeneRayburn> ________ Candy
* AnneRobinson bangs her head on the desk
<GeneRayburn> Hard Candy? I want Candy?
<AnneRobinson> oh my ... I want candy?!
<GeneRayburn> Match
<tle1792553> Woo!
<tle1792553> Me too
<GeneRayburn> ___________ Machine
* Branden applauds
<Branden> lol@tle
<GeneRayburn> Vending Machine? Pinball Machine?
<AnneRobinson> vending machine
<GeneRayburn> Match
<GeneRayburn> That's 5 if I'm Counting correctly
<Branden> Or three if you count like me
<GeneRayburn> It's 6-3, Branden, you need 4 to win, who do you want to play with?
<Branden> Oh..the many possibilities....
<Branden> but..the one person who i'd LOVE to play with...is Brett... I'm in room 1103
<GeneRayburn> Let's begin
<Brett_Somers> you sweet talker you!
<GeneRayburn> Cock ________
* Richard_Simmons stares openmouthed at Branden
* Branden laughs
<GeneRayburn> Cock of the walk? Cock-a-doodle-do?
<Brett_Somers> cockadoodledoo
<GeneRayburn> Match
* Branden cha-chings!
<GeneRayburn> R- _________
<GeneRayburn> R-Rated? R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
<Brett_Somers> respect
<GeneRayburn> Match
<Branden> R-E-S-P-E-C-T..FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO ME!
<GeneRayburn> Phone _______
<GeneRayburn> Phone Call? Phone Sex?
<Brett_Somers> call
<GeneRayburn> No Match
<Branden> awwww
<GeneRayburn> When Your __________
<Branden> I said sex for YOU, brett!
<GeneRayburn> When Your Smiling? When Your Hot?
<Brett_Somers> when your smiling
<GeneRayburn> No Match
* Branden fans self
<Brett_Somers> and I never do it on the first show
<GeneRayburn> ______________ Fitzgerald
<Branden> But...this is our third show!
<GeneRayburn> Ella Fitzgerald? F. Scott Fitzgerald?
<Brett_Somers> f scott
<GeneRayburn> No Match
<GeneRayburn> ________ Shooter
* Branden 's mouth drops
<GeneRayburn> Straight Shooter? Salad Shooter?
<Brett_Somers> straight
<GeneRayburn> Match
<GeneRayburn> ________ Man
<Branden> yes I am...Gene
<GeneRayburn> Rain Man? Stand by your Man?
<Brett_Somers> stand by your man
<GeneRayburn> No Match
<GeneRayburn> Split _______
<GeneRayburn> Split Second? Split Personality?
<Brett_Somers> second
<GeneRayburn> Match
<GeneRayburn> ________ tank
<GeneRayburn> Fish Tank? Dunk Tank?
<Brett_Somers> fish
<GeneRayburn> Match
* Branden cha-chings again!
<GeneRayburn> _______ Light
<GeneRayburn> Flashlight? Spotlight?
<Brett_Somers> spotlight
<GeneRayburn> No Match
<GeneRayburn> Brandy wins 8-6, now for the bonus round
* Branden gets up, runs to Brett, and hugs her
* Branden goes and sits back down
* Brett_Somers holds up a card 'Jack, hon... he's only acting!'
* Branden holds up a card "Call me"
              
            Super Matches
<GeneRayburn> Here's your first audience match, you know the top is worth 500, the second iis worth 250 and the bottom is worth 100, call on 3 celebs, and they give you their answer out loud......
<GeneRayburn> Cookie _______________
<GeneRayburn> Call on 3
* Richard_Simmons points to himself
<Branden> my Brett darling...  Richard simmons, and what the heck..  Super Civilian Man
<Richard_Simmons> I say Cookie Monster
<Super_Civilian_Man> dough
<Brett_Somers> cutter
<GeneRayburn> Monster, dough, cutter, or you can choose your own?
<Branden> I can?
<Branden> I'll say....cutter
<GeneRayburn> Let's see what you get...
<GeneRayburn> 100: Cutter
* Branden hopes it's a kiss from someone *wink wink*
<Branden> dang..only 100
<GeneRayburn> You get a 100, let's reveal the other two, under 250
<GeneRayburn> 250: Jar
<Branden> jar!  d'oh
<GeneRayburn> What do you all think is on top?
<Branden> dough
<Branden> monster
<Brett_Somers> monster - which is what I was going to say when called on
<GeneRayburn> 500: Monster
* Branden doh's!
<Richard_Simmons> YES!
<Branden> you get nothing tho, Richard
<Richard_Simmons> Branden hun, always listen to the underdog of the game!
<Branden> hmph.. *mutters Drama queen *
* Richard_Simmons pouts
* GeneRayburn wonder if Branden will Dough!
<Richard_Simmons> lol
* Branden wishes he had some dough <hint hint>
<GeneRayburn> Here's your second audience match......
<Super_Civilian_Man> lol
<GeneRayburn> ___________ Jelly
<GeneRayburn> Call on 3 again
<Branden> I'm gonna give Brett another shot...just cuz she's my fav
<Brett_Somers> petroleum
<Branden> Let's ask Anne
<AnneRobinson> Raspberry
<Branden> and...good ole Chuckie
<GeneRayburn> Chuck says Peanut Butter and
<GeneRayburn> You heard the choices, or you can choose your own
<Branden> hmmm...As much as i'm tempted to say petroleum...  I'm gonna go with Chuck.  Peanut Butter and....
<GeneRayburn> Let's see what is up there...
<Branden> final answer!
<Branden> ;-)
<GeneRayburn> 100: Grape
<GeneRayburn> 250: Petroleum
<GeneRayburn> Looking Good for you, Slide it Earl
<GeneRayburn> 500: Peanut Butter and
* Branden jumps up and down, and goes and kisses Chuck on the lips
* tle1792553 applauds
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Yo Chuck enjoyed that 
* Richard_Simmons storms offstage
* Super_Civilian_Man woohoo!s
<GeneRayburn> You are playing for a minnimum of 6000, and you can turn that into 12000 with a lucky spin of the star wheel, spin it
* Branden spins the wheel
* Richard_Simmons goes back to his seat
<Super_Civilian_Man> *makes Wheel of Fortune wheel sound*
<GeneRayburn> You get to play Charles Nelson Reilly for 6000
* Branden makes gurgling noses
<Branden> woo!!!!
<GeneRayburn> Here it is....
<GeneRayburn> Power ____________
* Branden uh-oh's
* Charles_Nelson_Reilly shows his answer to tle to prove he isn't cheating
* tle1792553 flips the card
* Charles_Nelson_Reilly puts the card in the slot
<GeneRayburn> Your answer, Branden for 6000?
* Branden thinks....and is getting very nervous
<Branden> umm...umm...power....*sighs and just yells out* ranger!
* Branden faints
* tle1792553 fans Branden
<GeneRayburn> Charles , what did you say?
* Super_Civilian_Man dumps a bucket of water on Branden
* Branden wonders if branden got wet...
<Charles_Nelson_Reilly> Sorry, I said Outage 
<Super_Civilian_Man> *Branden*
* Branden awwwws
<GeneRayburn> You still leave with 700
* Branden cries..and goes to be comforted by tle
* tle1792553 comforts Branden
<JohnnyOlson> This is Johnny Olson for Match Game, A Mesk Pro Smith Moleman Production.  This program has been heavily edited for broadcast