MeskPro = Contestant, KirkFogg, Gene Rayburn, and Johnny Olson Branden = Contestant and CNR_Impersonater Sumgi = Hollywood Hulk Hogan karen = Brett Somers SpartiChris = Charles Nelson Reilly tle = Spongebob Square Pants spell = Stuart Scott Alman = Super Civilian Man Intros Get ready to match the stars.... From WWE, Hollywood Hulk Hogan Brett Somers Charles Nelson Reilly From Spongebob Square Pants, Sponge Bob Square Pants From Sportscenter, Stuart Scott And Super Civilian Man As we get ready to play the star studded match game, and here's your host, Gene Rayburn Round 1 Thank you Johnny, hello panel, hello contestants, let's begin, Brandy, A or B? umm... B (I'd whup you anytime, anyplace, anywhere, HHH) Drunk Dan was so drunk HOW DRUNK WAS HE?! HOW DRUNK WAS HE? How Drunk was he? How drunk was he? How drunk--yeah. that when he did some home improvements, he accidently nailed his ________ to the wall. * Super_Civilian_Man thinks, then writes his answer * SpongeBobSquarePants scribbles on the paper * CharlesNelsonReilly writes his answer down, puffing on his pipe all the while. * Brett_Somers sniffs charles pipe suspiciously Smoking's bad for you... * SpongeBobSquarePants pours the water from the glasses on himself to keep moist Your answer Brandy Well, i'm going to have to go with an obvious answer...this thumb Let's see what the panel said, Mr. Hogan? You know something, I've been nailed with chairs, shovels, belts, Iraqi Flags, and I'm still here and still rockin' hard! But if a drunk guy like someone I know who shall remain nameless, nailed something to the wall, it's gotta be his hand. I'll give that a 1/2 point, Brett? I said his tongue because it was hanging out Not a match, Charles? Well, I couldn't help but go with thumb! That is a match, Sponge Bob? Well... I thought of many things to write down... but I chose *flips card* Shirt. Sorry. not a match, Stuart? Well, I heard this from a witness in the congregation: finger. thumb is a finger ;-) That's a 1/2 point, Super? I didn't want to sound dirty, so I said Nose You got 2, Brandy, Mesk here is your question Joe said... "I got my tax return back today, and I got audited." I think I know why, because my accountant went to the ________ school of Bookkeeping. * SpongeBobSquarePants scribbles his answer down * CharlesNelsonReilly writes down an answer * Super_Civilian_Man knows exactly what he is going to write, then writes it Bob, did you have to come in at low tide? * StuartScott writes furiously. *nod* * Brett_Somers looks nauseous tied? he's not twisted up again no, but he smells like he was swimming in the tidy bowl again * SpongeBobSquarePants is thinking.. as long as he's clean..being in the tidy bowl * Brett_Somers prods chuckles * StuartScott grooves to the funky Match Game music. oh for crying out loud.... Chuck! Wake up! * SpongeBobSquarePants is drying up here * Branden|6Time_Champ|Contestant pours the pitcher of water on SBSP * Brett_Somers gets a pail of water from a grip (thanks honey) and puts Bob into the pail * HollywoodHulkHogan slaps CharlesNelsonReilly around a bit with his 24-inch pythons. quit abusing those snakes! what you gonna do when hulkamania runs wild on you? Mesk, your answer please I'd like to go with something that is means more to me...Adelphia...but since I don't know if everyone knows about it, I will say Enron Mr. Hogan, what did you say? I've worked for several promoters in my time, and I'll admit, there's been a few sleaseballs I've worked for. WCW was by far the worst. But the coup de grace of bad booking goes to the guys at Enron. Heck, The Ultamite Warrior would make a better accountant than those guys! A match, Brett? Sorry, hon... I heard it was the Don King School of accounting... A good answer, ChucK? I said Fife Symington...he was rather broke when he left office. Not a match, Spongebob I said..*flips card*.. Abacus! *shrugs* Not a match, Stuart? * SpongeBobSquarePants just thought of a really good answer... figures. Well, since everyone knows that it wasn't Enron itself that kept the books, it was its accountant. Therefore, I said Arthur Andersen. That would be a half point, Mr. Man? Elementary School * Super_Civilian_Man polishes his class ring Not a match, so after Round 1, Brandy is up 2 - 1 1/2 * Brett_Somers wads up a paper and hurls it at SCM * Super_Civilian_Man catches it and hurls it back Round 2 *After the first question of this round Chris had to leave, so Branden replaced him on the panel Brandy you are up again, A or B? Well, I'm quite fond of the letter B...so B again please Johnny the police officer is one lucky man... i'll say! how lucky is he? How lucky is he brother? How lucky is he? he got to frisk _________________ today. * Super_Civilian_Man is torn between two choices * SpongeBobSquarePants blanks * Brett_Somers scribbles on the paper * Brett_Somers turns it over and puts it in place * Brett_Somers starts to doze... wakes up with a start yelling 'THE CAT!' *scratches that answer out on his paper* :-P *chuckle at SBSP* sorry, Gene... it's these darn allergy pills * CharlesNelsonReilly glances at Brett again. * Brett_Somers pats Charles on the arm Your answer, Brandy? Well...speaking from experience....Pamela Anderson What does the Hulkster say? I've been lucky enough to have been ringside wth Miss Elisabeth at Wrestlemania 5, and many other lovely ladies at ringside, but if there's one I'd like to frisk as a referee, it would be Britney Spears. And from what I hear, The Rock, another one of the brothers, might get his chance tonight at a Lewis/Tyson party. Pam was my second choice though... Not a match, Brett I went with a true classic... all real, no fiberglass or silicone... Racquel Welch Stop living in the past you dumb broad, Chuck? Speaking of Welch, I went with a real wench: Carol Channing. No, I'm just joking, I said Anne Robinson. Policeman like to be submissive, I hear. oh, grow up! if you think that Pamela Anderson is real, you're dreaming! she's real fine! Why do the loonies keep thinking Anne Robinson is a libido rouser, Sponge Bob? Well...although I almost went with Pamela, but instead, I went with the first thing that came to me, I said *flips card* Yakko... because she always used to ask for a volunteer to frisk her. *puts his head on the desk* Not a match, Stuart? Well, I had to say THE hottest honey out there today -- Beyonce Knowles of Destiny's Child. She's as cool as the other side of the pillow. Not a match, SCM? I said Anne Robinson * GeneRayburn makes the shooting with his weird long mike motion So Mesk needs a half point to tie, and 1 to win, Mesk here is your question Did you hear that Pamela Anderson's agent won't let her entertain the scientists in the Antarctic? * SpongeBobSquarePants thinks she needs to pick a smarter toon next time. *chuckle* Brad said.... what did he say? "You this modern day Roman mythology is really revised. Instead of playing a violin when Rome burns done, Nero is playing a ___________. * Super_Civilian_Man writes his answer chuckles, you've changed! * Brett_Somers blushes * CNR_Impersonator writes on his sign, and passes it to Brett * Brett_Somers slaps CNR Mesk, your answer I'm gonna say the most modern instrument I know, synthesizer Let's see what the panel said, Hollywood? Well, I once said in the WCW that I was god, and as a god, and as the WCW and WWF Champion, I used to play my belt as an air guitar to the ring, so I'm gonna say he was playing his Electric Guitar. Not a match, Brett? It was either a Telecaster or a Stratocaster electric guitar Chuck? Well, I would say Electric Guitar.. but then I'd be yelled at for lying, because I said *flips card* Synthesizer *sobs* * Brett_Somers blinks Mesk wins let's see what the rest of you said I said... *flips card* Electric guitar. *pours more water on himself to stay moist* I said a baseball game. ... Hey, I'm a sports guy. I said Bass Guitiar oh for... stuart, you make SCM look like Einstein stuart must be smart... Well, due to tax considerations, Mesk won't be playing the bonus round, Brandy, you get to play it Super Matches *I declared Brandy the winner, and then entered the panel as Kirk Fogg At least I was attractive during the height of my popularity, Brett. Let's move on to the audience match, here's your first one.... Ice ________ Call on 3 SBSP Ice Maker That's one Brett darling ice cream One more And...Kirky Ice Cube Maker, Cream, Cube, or you can choose your own hmmm.... Let's go with Ice Cream...YUMMY! * Brett_Somers crosses fingers Let's see... 100: Cube * Super_Civilian_Man bites his lip 250: Tea * Branden-loserStill6-TimeChamp prays Looks good for you, slide it Earl 500: Cream * Branden-loserStill6-TimeChamp hops up and kisses Brett * Brett_Somers applauds and pats Branden on the back Here's #2 * Branden-loserStill6-TimeChamp runs back to his seat ______ Tax Brett, my honey income (and don't let Jack hear you say that!) Scotty Excise. * Super_Civilian_Man polishes his class ring again In that case...SCM Luxury Income, Excise, Luxury, or you can choose your own? oh I can? well....Through the powers that be... I'm choosing Income... 100: FICA 250: Sales * Branden-loserStill6-TimeChamp about said sales * SpongeBobSquarePants raises an eyebrow @ FICA Looks good for you again, slide it Earl 500: Income YAHOO!!! * SpongeBobSquarePants applauds Spin the star wheel, Brandy * Brett_Somers blows a kiss "Yahoo Tax"? ;-) * Branden-loserStill6-TimeChamp gives thumbs-up to camera as a sponser ;-) wheel of morality, turn turn turn what is the prize package, I should earn? You are playing with Stuart for 20000 * Super_Civilian_Man makes the "WF wheel sound woo! Here it is..... i'd play with him for free! ;-) errr... Hey! Unless your name's Rich Eisen, don't even try. ... I mean, um ... National ______________ funny you should say that.... ;-) * StuartScott scribbles furiously. Your answer, Brandy, for 20,000.... well, i'm hoping that he's going by his sports background... national LEAGUE That's a good answer, what are some others? or anthem enquirer * Super_Civilian_Man holds his breath lampoons velvet security Geographic Gotta take your first response Brandy, Stu, what did you sayt monument Guard park Well, I DID go with my sports background ... starting every athletic competition is the National Anthem. You still get 1000 * Branden-loserStill6-TimeChamp awwwwwwwws also...and goes up to "face off" against Stuart * Super_Civilian_Man opens can of "awwwww" This is Johnny Olson for Match Game, A Mesk Pro Smith Moleman Production, This program has been edited for broadcast.